There’s a battle scene from the last film in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, in which King Theoden and the riders of Rohan arrive at the end of their journey to help the beleaguered people of Gondor. Gazing down at the white city of Minas Tirith they behold a terrifying scene: an uncountable army of orcs from the evil land of Mordor has breached the first level of the city, which seems inescapably lost.
Vastly outnumbered, Theoden believes they cannot prevail and must die, but he will not ride away. In a scene to rouse the blood, he gallops along his first line of horsemen before leading the charge:
Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise, arise Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered, a sword day, a red day, ‘ere the sun rises. Ride now, ride now, ride for ruin and the world’s ending!
Life’s not usually like that…
One step at a time
image credit: alice popkorn
Oh of course there are moments of high drama and decisive action, events and choices which sweep us forward. But mostly life’s about putting one foot in front of the other, more like Frodo and Sam, journeying slowly and circuitously towards the Mountain of Fire. And ideally life’s about treasuring the journey more than they were able to.
Resolution-free
All of which is a very complicated way to tell you I haven’t made any specific new year’s resolutions for 2012.
Small choices
Every moment of our lives, we make small choices. The accumulation of those choices is what transforms our lives, for good or not. One of the vows taken by Benedictine monastics is Conversatio Morum, a phrase which translates, loosely, as conversion of life. In monastic language, one would speak of fidelity to a way of life, of a constant turning back to God in everything said and done.
But this concept is universal, not only for those of us who believe in a God, however defined. This conversion, this turning, is the essence of our human journey.
Allowing transformation
It’s both active and passive. We must make those small (and large) choices necessary for transformation, and we must allow transformation to take place. What do I mean by the latter? (I was sort of hoping you wouldn’t ask!) One of the choices we must make many times is to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to crack the masks we wear. Otherwise, transformation is just self-improvement and new habits. We learn new skills, we start eating better. And that’s great. But it’s the inner transformation that’s the really important part of the journey.
So I’m going to follow the trail of my day-to-day choices this year, not my failed resolutions, and trust the journey will be wonderful.
What about it, fellow pilgrims? Can resolutions help transformation or hinder it?
What a beautiful, beautiful post, Tess! It simply is precious…
Thank you for Conversation Morum…
Transformation… a journey toward authenticity… Step by step…
Thank you ♥
claire recently posted..Élan, my word
Glad you like it Claire, and I love your post and your word!
First, hello fellow LOTR GEEK! I LOVE all of that high drama. <3
Second, no resolutions here. Probably because I am a big fan of the idea of minute to minute conversion.
I did choose a word for the year but as a guide, as a meditation and exploration, a way to help me match my intentions to my purpose and passion and make sure things are in alignment.
Christine (Girl on Fire) Reed recently posted..Red Tent of Erie
Oh me too, any of those books and/or films depicting legendary quests – I’m there! I rewatched all of the LOTR extended cut DVDs over Christmas, along with the special features. Things like how a film was made and the special effects etc, what choices a director and a writer make – they all completely fascinate me!
Anyway, yes choosing a word in the way you describe is something I’ve done in the past and I do find it valuable.
Welcome back, Tess! I hope you had a lovely holiday!
I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions, either. I’ll set goals along the way, but even then, I try to leave some wiggle room. Life so often has other plans! (And God seems to laugh when I get too attached to my own
)
I do like to choose a word for the year. That feels more like an invitation – and often brings unexpected insights and openings along the way.
Jan Richardson has a beautiful Epiphany Blessing at The Painted Prayerbook. She writes of “the vows the pilgrim takes: to be faithful to the next step; to rely on more than the map; to heed the signposts of intuition and dream…” I thought of Pilgrim’s Moon when I read that.
Thanks for the heads up about Black and Green chocolate! I think the last resolution I made was when a friend and I jokingly resolved to eat good chocolate on a regular basis. I’ve kept that one pretty faithfully!
Hi Jane, hope you had a lovely holiday also. I’m a big fan of Jan’s work and words (as well as B&G chocolate!).
At this time of year I find myself allergic to blog posts about New Year’s resolutions, and even their cousins, the “7 Steps to The Best Year Ever Blah Blah”.
This post would have been very beautiful even without being a panacea for my allergies, so thank you, Tess
Small choices, small steps, inner transformations. This is the real cut and thrust and grit of life, a Conversatio Morum, a meaty lifelong dance, the substitute of which the New Year’s Resolution is pappy sugar 
Sue recently posted..Holiday
“A meaty lifelong dance” – love it!
Your comment about the resolutions’ cousins made me think of a post I read yesterday cleverly entitled “The Top 5 Things That Bother Me About This Headline”. It’s worth a read: http://www.good.is/post/the-top-5-things-that-bother-me-about-this-headline/
Thought provoking post. I especially appreciate the title of the last paragraph. The trick of change is to “allow” it.
Wonderful.
Selena Wolff recently posted..Row80
Hello Selena, welcome to my blog and thanks for your comment. Yes this question of “allowing” is really important I think.
no resolutions for me either, too prescriptive, constraining and guilt-inducing
but I did do the ‘one word’ thing
funnily enough it doesn’t feel constricting, more expansive really, to see what it might actually bring forth in unexpected ways
Kel recently posted..a starring role : my 2012 word
Hi Kel, yes there is something very much more freeing about the one word thing.
I enjoyed your post. I don’t like the word resolutions because it has been to marred of meaning by the way popular culture has dealt with it. But as I read your post I realized that when one is seeking transformation, as I am, what the world calls resolutions are really “conversion” experiences for us…conversions of the ongoing, lifelong sort. They are a turning around, a commitment, or perhaps a re-commitment, to a change in they way will live, those small choices you talk about. So I think resolutions in this way of thinking about them are vital. And the fact that our culture, and just the rhythms of life give us a yearly opportunity to rethink where we are headed and how we will get there is a positive thing, just so long as we don’t adopt the “I failed, so I give up” mentality that is so pervasive and stick to the daily act of recommitting.
Elaine recently posted..Ladinsky and Hafiz: The Masquerade of Translation
Hi Elaine, welcome to my blog and thanks for your comment. It’s a really good point about the popular culture has changed the depth of the word resolutions. I like what you say about “the daily act of recommitting”.
Hello, Tess. Different Elaine…but similar thoughts.
Wonderful post. One of three or four I’ve been returning to during this first days of 2012.
I wasn’t going to make any “resolutions” until…I read Kathryn’s post: http://kathrynelliott.com.au/blog/2012/01/03/making-new-year-resolutions-thoughts-ideas-and-my-process . And I thought, this I can do…take a month to gather, reflect, focus then set goals (mostly of the learning nature) & create strategies.
Yesterday morning, I read your post & thoughtful comments it elicited(for the first time, I’m on my third reading)… and realize I need to go beyond the resolutions/goals and consider how they might transform me. To be honest, it’s a bit scary.
I also wasn’t going to pick a word for 2012 but then I read this post: http://www.katrinakenison.com/2012/01/02/wholeheartedness/
And so –I’m thinking it through now as I’m writing this comment — I will set goals but also try to welcome all that happens.
“Live wholeheartedly. Know that your vulnerability means that you’re alive. Remember who you really are. Use up the best that’s in you each day, and trust that it’s enough.” Katrina Kenison.
Hello different Elaine! Thank you for this comment and for the links to those two other posts. So interesting!
In a way I’m glad your third reading of this post is making you realise it can be a bit scary. Increasingly I think anything worth it is…
Hello, again. I’ve been back & forth to this page as I save the post to Delicious & Pinterest. I’m also going to print it so I can write in the margins
.
Speaking of scary, yesterday I read & saved this quote from “The Writer’s Almanac”:
“Good writing is always about things that are important to you, things that are scary to you, things that eat you up.”
—John Edgar Wideman
You are a very good writer, Ms. Giles.
Oops, I meant, Ms. Marshall.
Thank you! (Marshall/Giles, it’s all the same!) I really like that quote, also I’m delighted you’re going to write in the margins.
I like the challenges you make in this post as regards resolutions as not truly in accord with how the journey unfolds. There was a science fiction book I read once (don’t remember the name) where people kept jumping from future to past and back again as the way in which life evolved, rather than proceeding on a continuous line. That seemed somehow quite real to me. Perhaps an experience I am having today will help me land a job I applied for in the 1980s. It just makes sense somehow to understand the whole of life as an entity, with many circular paths, like running streams, watering innumerable interconnecting gardens.
Oh I love the idea of the book you mention. Life isn’t a continuous line, but we expect it to be. Like the analogy with interconnecting gardens, also. Thank you.